Where the Gold is hidden

By Regina Roeder

November 27^th, 2022

Each of us is invited to dance

in their own unique rhythm.

A constant remembering & forgetting.

A seeking & finding.

Countless experiences that have

been made, many that are yet to come.

Past and future together

stored in the river of life.

Water holds memory

and invites us to receive,

to transform & merge with the way it takes us.

Without constantly trying to fill this emptiness

with something from the outside.

May I leave some space for the unknown to experience itself?

From the journey of seeking & finding.

Gold.

I was just sitting with a cup of tea and contemplating what experiences I had been attracting over the past few years. The forest, the jungle. All this wisdom from the trees that are able to just stand still and observe. Through their centeredness they are holding space for many living beings, creating this net that each of us is part of. One of my greatest challenges, to stand still and not seek. Why is that so? Seeking attention and validation from the outside, or seeking answers to all my questions. In the end all a distraction of not being fully present to what that moment contains. Of not having found a sanctuary or resting place inside.

I remembered a journey that took me deep into the jungles of Peru, a place that reawakened many memories and changed the way I see and move through the world now. While sitting at the edge of a cliff overseeing the river and how he makes its way effortlessly downwards to its destination full of trust in its own journey. Fascinated by the voyage of the water, how it comes from the sky, landing on our great grandfathers shoulders, the mountains of the Andes, to at some point merging into the Amazon to eventually head back where it came from. Just in that moment, an elder appeared and sat next to me. We enjoyed a few breaths together in silence until he told me, ‘No matter in which situation life throws you, you are always welcome here.’

Even though I felt goosebumps on my whole body, I asked him "Why?"

"You are one of us" he replied.

I couldn't grasp these words and the reason why he would share everything he has with me, knowing other people of my skin color are exploiting the forests and taking resources as they need, polluting the river which is the centre of their lives. Yet his invite was utterly sincere spoken without judgement nor expectation.

I was speechless and overwhelmed by the love and the deeper meaning of this message I had just received.

"You are one of us & always welcome."

May I remember these words every time I feel lost, separate or abandoned.

"But why are you not taking the gold? You know where it is." I wondered.

He laughed "I don't need it."

"We have everything and even more thus we can still share with others. Why would we take something to create imbalance?"

What a lovely contemplation he sent me forth on my way for the next stretch of the river. And indeed there was no longing in searching something that I had already found within the community of the elders, within the sparks of their children, the nourishment of their food, the hearts of their mothers and the wisdom of the forests. Once I feel grounded, I feel held, connected & whole. This experience goes beyond material possessions and aspirations. It goes beyond mental capacities and stretches us to open up for a deeper conversation.

Gold is being found in witnessing my surrounding in deep presence.

Without any need to change it, without any judgement. Just seeing the beauty and holiness of this moment. May I remember that feeling of true belonging along the streams of the river of life including all its twists and turns, throughout all its unknown territories.